There have been 2 men that I have truly loved in my life. My first love, and to this day I still care and think about him... and my second love who was the most amazing man I have ever met.
The thing is, that my second love has some issues (don't we all?) and there came a time where I could no longer stand by his side although unknowingly my heart would never stop loving him.
Recently I sent this man a letter, no hopes or agenda's on my mind... just genuine eagerness to know how he was doing and to apologize for things long past. Well, although there absolutely was no hopes or agendas, when I spoke with him a few days ago my heart melted. I never understood the term of a "melting heart"... but now I know what it means and what it feels like. It is so weird to me that my love for this man is just as strong as it was all that time ago.
I wonder if I am strong enough put myself back into this situation.... it is risky. But my best friend last night said "life is about taking risks"... and I know she is right.
If I were to walk away from this... I would ALWAYS wonder about what coulda been.... instead, I will take it a few days at a time...I will make sure I am not slipping into something I shouldn't slip into and give him a little slack to see where this might go.
I know if my mom reads this she will be worried, but I would say...Yes, I have made MANY mistakes... but I cannot live my life not knowing if he is the right one, because my heart tells me he might be.
Love you all, thanks for you support through all the ups and downs in life... please support me thru this... I can not risk loosing the right one due to fear of the unknown.
